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When you reach your mid-60’s, you appreciate each sunrise and sunset that you witness and the friendships you form along the road of life. It isn’t because we don’t know our destination; it more the case we don’t know when we will arrive there!
By: Charles W. Boatright
A Western Journey We all Make in Life– Road of Life should be more than a Hope, but Forge of Faith that Endures the Test and passage of Time
On our journey through this life heading westward toward the setting sun, we experience the passage of time that consisting of both joy and of anguishes along the way. Both in the joy and anguish, we are able to forge friendships that creates memories that time can’t tarnish or fade away. It is with faith and those memories that we are able to fill the voids and survive the loss in this life that allows us to endure.
I would like to explain why HOPE IS NOT A PLAN to have in this life but determination and commitment is what forges our pathway!
On Friday, February 17th, 2023, I was reminded of the losses we encounter in our road westward when I attended a memorial service for a dear friend’s wife. Our friendship with this friend was forged over a span of 42- years, working in line work that made this friendship a little more unique, due to the challenges we worked. Linemen just don’t develop a friendship, but they forge a brotherhood, due to the type of hard work and the long hours we worked under some of the most hazardous conditions, circumstances, and weather.
The term you don’t often hear to describe the characteristic of friendship is the term True Grit. True Grit describes a faith and commitment of perseverance and loyalty that forges a friendship not just a hope. You come to depend on these forged relationship when you are working to get the lights back on for communities or hospitals, usually done in some of the most adverse conditions and schedules. The bond we shared as linemen was also in the number of hours we put in flying aerial patrol with turbulence and reduce visibility that makes flights a little more interesting at tree top level.
Those type of conditions create some of the most unforgettable conditions that leave endearing memories that don’t fade or diminish with the passage of time. These memories are just as vivid today as they were decades ago. We often think of memories in terms of our past, but those memories are just as fresh now as they were back then what fills voids in our life today. Memories remind us of what endures and have immense value in our lives.
As I made my way through the reception line, I noticed two of our friends who we had worked with and known these 42- years standing with our friend. You could detect the immense value that our friendships meant to our friend with our presences. He realized the distance that we had traveled while we were shaking hands and commented that we didn’t have to come, but he appreciated it more than what he could express.
We told him it wasn’t the case that we had to come, but a case that we wanted to be there and wouldn’t have missed the opportunity to share in another part of life that we all must bear. Like most husband-wife relationships where they had been married for over 40 years, there is more than just a loss, as there is a void in one’s life after the other one’s departure.
Remembering how Relationships Form is how we Convey Our Sympathies
After the funeral service, we could tell that our friend emotions after he said his last good-by, who was standing in the parking lot, was going through a dark valley of his life. Shadows seems to be the darkest that obscure one’s pathway through the valley at this period. We walked over to where our friend was standing in the parking lot, while waiting for the procession to the cemetery.
We took the opportunity to share events and times of our past that we dealt with during those 42- years of working together and knowing each other. Before long, our friend’s face and spirits were lifted, even if it was just for a moment. This is the value of our memories that we have in our lives and why we should cherish each one of them, just as we should each sunrise and sunset that we witness.
How do We Comfort Others in Time of Loss
It is natural to feel awkward when knowing how to comfort a friend that has suffered a great loss, knowing exactly how to express your condolences. But, what I have learned in expressing condolences is to share a memory and stories of how important their friendship has meant to you at a particular time in your life. The memories and stories that you share with them of what they meant can even be light-hearted and at the same time, express your condolences.
Friendship Based on True Grit NOT a HOPE
True Grit of friendship is more than just a hope in life that we can have, but a commitment that we have to each other, in terms we have your back, or we have your SIX. I would find it disheartening if I could only express to a friend in only in terms of a HOPE THAT I COULD BE THERE. Hope isn’t a decisive commitment nor a plan. True Grit isn’t expressed in terms of a hope I can. It wouldn’t be too reassuring to tell a friend that you hope you can be there for them. The term HOPE confers and has connotation of some degree doubt that exist.
There is a verse in 1st Corinthians 15:19 that sums up why HOPE isn’t what True Grit of friendship is, or our faith is based on- If in Christ we have hope in this life only, we are of all people most to be disappointed and should be pitied. Our life is more than just a hope, but a True Grit of of commitment and perseverance that measures the value of our faith in our friendships we form.